My chemo is done

and this last one went smooth, baby, smooth.

It is done.
And I feel really well,
light, happy

at moments I wonder
what did I learn from all this?
what is going to change in my life this year?
what is going to open, what will close?

and at other moments
I don't have the need
to analyze "what all of this meant"

I'm digging that place

because why should I bother
with the tiring circle of meaning making
when the truth of my life is
it's early July
the tomato plants in my garden are tall
the tomatoes are fat and green

George is jumping in the swimming pool at camp
and learning to swim
and June is
June is
soaking up everything there is under the sun

and Fred and I are very grounded together,
very in love

and my friend Sheila who lives in Chicago
came to visit,
the day we spent together
was this phenomenal day

it came to an end, my chemo
July is here
we are eating watermelon
with the windows open
a cross breeze blowing
through this old house

that needs some fixing
that Fred and I love so much
and have worked so hard to make
our home.

What does it all mean
seems pointless right now
that game, that analysis

it all means, I'm here
in this moment, that is
here, then gone.